Today is Mother’s Day! This day celebrates motherhood in all forms, birth mothers, adoptive mothers, step-mothers, grandmothers, the women who are like mothers to us, and the mothers we are. This day reminds us all of the role our mothers play in our lives, whatever our circumstances, whether positive or not. It also acknowledges our role as mothers. This day of celebration is a painful one for those who have lost their mothers, and for mothers who have lost a child. The emotional aspect of Mother’s day is immense – both in joy and sorrow.
As a Mom, I love Mother’s Day! Over the years, I have enjoyed watching my children get excited planning and executing the perfect surprise for me. I have precious memories in the hand-crafted gifts and cards. We look through the photos from family events and adventures. I have an entire dresser filled with these treasures, as I am sure most of us do. They remind me of the joy of raising my children, and the love we have for each other.
As a daughter, my emotions are bittersweet. The store displays and television ads always get to me this time of year. My own Mom left this earth when I was a young mother myself, my first daughter was six years old. Although, as the years have passed, I have missed her terribly; life truly does go on. Grief never “goes away” it ebbs and flows but it is always there, made somewhat easier by the passage of time. The arrival of Mother’s day brings back that sharp dagger of loss. It is always a balancing act to be in the moment with my children and to try to honor my mother. The loss of a mother is life-changing; it shakes us to the core.
I have had clients tell me that they dread this day. I certainly understand their feelings. I have talked with mothers who say that the pain of not having their child with them on this day is unbearable. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. I have witnessed unbelievable strength in a mother who continues each year to celebrate Mother’s day with her living children; while grieving the loss of a child. I admire the courage of a child living without her mother. I empathize with them.
I tell my clients that their loved ones on the other side are with them still. We may not be able to see them but they are there. Our loved ones continue to support and guide us. Talk to them – they hear us, and they do communicate with us. They send us signs of their presence and love. Our loved ones in spirit tend to come in close on special occasions and holidays, like today. I believe that my Mom knows when I do something to honor her, or when I tell my children the stories of my childhood, or remember when she was the center of my universe. On Mother’s day we celebrate both our mothers and our motherhood, in all of its forms. We honor the past and create the future.
Happy Mother’s Day !