Navigating Through Grief

 

Grief seems to come on in waves, sometimes when you least expect it. In the first raw stage of grieving, it is all-encompassing and often overwhelming. The pain is deep, it is emotional and physical. The sense of loss is very powerful. It is important to recognize that grief can be triggered by any loss. The death of a loved one or beloved pet, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a home, etc. It is very important to recognize that it is completely normal to feel the emotions of grief with many types of loss. It is equally important to recognize when you need to seek help, whether from reading or in the form of counseling to cope with your feelings of grief. There is no shame in seeking help from a professional in these situations. A trained professional can help guide you through the frightening and unknown emotional territory that comes with grieving. There are scientifically accepted, defined stages of grief. Some schools of thought believe there are 5 stages, some say seven. For this post, I will go with seven. They are: Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance and Hope, and Processing Grief. It is a rough ride, but we do go through all of them.

Time – the great healer. Moving through the stages of grief, and the passage of time enable us to deal with our feelings of loss. From personal experience with loss and grief, I can say with certainty that it does get better.  The passage of time, and surviving the stages of grief, allows us to live our lives with the memories of our loss, in a manner which keeps the feelings of deep sadness at bay.  It is inevitable that all of us will experience loss and, therefore, grief at some point in our lives.  Eventually, we reach a point in our healing,  where we can function in our daily lives without constant reminders of our loss. Eventually, we are able to remember the person, pet or relationship we have lost and experience joy in the memories we carry.  The deep emotions of grief can be triggered at any time by a number of things which can make it feel like the grief is never-ending.  It does, at times, come in waves that rock you to your core.  These waves wash over us, often when we least expect it, and can be overwhelming.

Grieving is an extremely personal and individual process. It is important to be gentle with yourself. Be patient with those who mean well, but may say something hurtful unintentionally. There is no time limit on the stages of grief, no time when you should be “over it”. As hard as it is, we have to move forward – through our grief so to speak. Remember to take care of all of you, nurture your mind, body, and spirit. It is truly one day at a time, and one step forward two steps back. Be patient. One of the hardest things for me has been the feeling of being alone. I actually like being by myself, I enjoy my own company but that is not what I mean. I am speaking of the deeply unsettling feeling of being alone in suffering. It is really important to understand that you are not alone. The pain of grief is one that is understood and empathized with as part of the human experience. Great comfort can be found in the little joys in life – family, friends, nature. I have found immense healing in my walks in nature. I have had to force myself to participate in life at times but I think it is important to do so. I am finding peace again – slowly. I am writing this so that you will know that you are not alone. You may not “get over it” but you will get through it. To those who are grieving I wish you love and light and healing.

S H I N E on . . .